The other day as I was grocery shopping, a toddler ran up to me and hugged me. I smiled and put an arm on his shoulder as his mother rushed up. “I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed. “He really loves to meet people.” I assured her that it was not a problem and spoke briefly with the outgoing little boy before heading on my way.
Later that same day, my foster puppy was accompanying me on a shopping trip at the local pet supply store. As we were ambling along the treat aisle, a large Husky came around the corner of the aisle on a flexi leash. My foster pup jumped on his head, and the Husky stood still with a soft, relaxed body while the squirmy pup wriggled around him in joy. I apologized to the dog’s owner as I calmed and corralled the excited puppy. “No worries!” she exclaimed. “Thor wouldn’t tolerate that behavior from an adult dog, but he really likes puppies.” We chatted for a few moments longer, and the dogs politely sniffed noses as we walked away, my foster much calmer and more polite after a few clicks and treats for appropriate behavior around his new friend.
Dogs aren’t all that different from us, if you think about it. I thought the excited greeting from a toddler was adorable. If an adult tried the same thing though, I wouldn’t react so kindly. In fact, if a strange man ran up and grabbed me in a bear hug, I’d likely respond quite violently in defense even though I’m not typically a confrontational or violent person.
Dogs also react differently to puppies, adolescents, and adult dogs. Most dogs are quite tolerant of rude and clumsy greetings from puppies. They understand that the puppies are still learning and aren’t all that polished. Just as we understand that toddlers are still learning social behavior, well socialized adult dogs generally forgive social blunders in pups.
The problem develops when puppies never learn appropriate social skills. Adult dogs who greet inappropriately (by rushing and jumping on other dogs, for example) become the canine equivalents of a forty year old man racing up to grope my breasts. It’s just not okay, and other dogs are likely to react aggressively even if they’re generally quite friendly and easygoing with other dogs.
A large part of the blame for such boorish social behavior in dogs lies at their owner’s feet. Just as responsible parents teach their children appropriate social behavior (for example, the toddler’s mother apologized for his rushing up at the grocery store and helped him to practice greeting me more appropriately by instructing him to wave and say “hi”), responsible dog owners can teach their charges to be polite around other dogs. Socializing your dog appropriately helps him grow into a model citizen of canine society.
So, how do I guide my foster dogs through appropriate interactions? First of all, I focus on teaching them to greet other dogs calmly. If puppies squeal and lunge in excitement every time they see a new dog, they grow into adult dogs who rush up to other dogs or react explosively on leash at the sight of each new dog. This isn’t a healthy social reaction, and preventing this behavior from developing is much easier and faster than fixing it once it’s become a habit. The solution is simple: I only let calm puppies greet other dogs. If my puppy is excited about the other dog, we move further away and do a few simple obedience behaviors until the puppy’s calmed down, at which point he’s rewarded for his calm behavior by earning permission to say “hi.” If my puppy absolutely can’t calm down, we may switch to the Watch the World game for a few minutes to get him in a better mindset. Just as parents of excitable toddlers may hold onto their children’s hands and instruct them on waving instead of hugging, gently guiding your puppy in social niceties will help him learn the best way to behave. Furthermore, since most puppies really enjoy meeting other dogs, they learn quickly that civilized behavior is the fastest path to gain access to their new friends.
In addition to teaching my puppy polite greetings, I also provide him with lots of opportunities to play and interact off leash with a variety of other dogs. Just as a parent will allow their child to converse with a variety of other kids, teenagers, and adults, letting my puppy socialize with others of his species keeps the doggy language skills he learned with his littermates sharp while also polishing away any rough bits. The bigger the variety of ages and sizes of dogs that I can safely introduce my puppy to during this time, the better. Ideally, I like to arrange 3-4 play dates a week for my puppy with known dogs. We avoid dog parks and other situations with dogs of unknown health and behavioral status for obvious reasons. Just as I wouldn’t bring a toddler to a frat party, I know my puppy’s not developmentally ready for the crowd of adolescents at most dog parks. And of course, I want to wait until my puppy’s vaccines are on board before going around other dogs who may be carrying potentially fatal diseases such as parvo or distemper, just as many parents are now avoiding crowded attractions like Disneyland until their children’s vaccines are current.
If you’re raising a puppy, remember that socializing him is more than just introducing him to others and waiting for him to figure things out on his own. Just as you would school a toddler on appropriate interactions with new people, it’s important to provide your puppy with lots of feedback on how to best get along in our world. Well-socialized adults of all species understand how to communicate with one another, including respecting one another’s space and using culturally-appropriate greetings.
Does your dog greet others appropriately? Please share your thoughts in the comments section!